Homeschooling

I have NEVER thought about homeschooling my kids. It just wasn't something I was ever going to do. To be completely honest, I thought those moms that home schooled were a bit off their rocker. That opinion came from complete ignorance on how homeschooling work and what the advantages were. I focused completely on the 'cons' which made my decision to NEVER home school a very easy one. Well......first I'd like to apologize to all my friends that home school for thinking that you were all a bit strange and off your rocker! I'M SORRY!!! I have done TONS of research about it because of the problems we have been having with Jaed at school that I feel like it is the right thing to do. I have found a great curriculum for them (Washington Virtual Academy) that is very structured. They even assign you a virtual teacher that you work closely with so that your kids are progressing and receiving the things they need. I have joined a local Homeschooling group (so that my kids don't turn out socially retarded) and plan to do many fun things with them.

I went to their school today to tell them that Jaed and Josie will not be returning after today. Josie's teacher was not pleased. She even said, "Josie is doing so well, why would you pull her?". Well she obviously isn't aware that Josie has been in school two weeks, and has brought homework home twice unable to do it because it wasn't explained to her. The first time it happened, I spoke to her teacher and she said, "Oh, I just assumed Josie knew how to do it. It was simple things she should have known.". WELL SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT! Josie needs the one on one attention in her school work so that she's not left behind like she has been. Jaed's teacher seemed alright with it (not like their opinions count!). My concern with Jaed is that he is not challenged enough in school. He needs to be able to go at his own pace and not be halted because the other kids in the class need more explaining. When that happens, he becomes bored and starts to do naughty things which gets him in trouble and sent to the Principal's office.

I didn't want to pull either of them unless they were ok with it. But the first time I mentioned that it was a possibility they both begged me to do it. Indi, on the other hand, said "NO WAY!". She waited to long to go to school that she's not going to stop now! I don't know if I could ever home school her because she is such a HUGE social butterfly that not going to school for the social atmosphere would be detrimental.

So, the Warner School starts tomorrow! Wish me luck and throw prayers my way!

Cakes with Dad

At the kid's school they had an open house and asked that the kids make cakes with only their dads and bring them in to be judged for awards. I helped Thayne find some simple cakes he could do with the three oldest and I think he did a great job! He's such a great Dad to be willing to participate in that stuff and the kids LOVE to be able to do things with just him. They each had a turn with him and enjoyed every minute of it! Unfortunately, the kids didn't win any prizes but they were thrilled to just have entered the contest. We decided that after the contest the kids would give their cakes to their teachers (because I did not want three cakes at home begging me to eat them!). Jaed's teacher decided to save the cake for the next day and let the class have it as a snack. He was so excited!!

Here's Jaed and Thayne making a LEGO cake!


























































Here's Indi and Thayne making a Rainbow cake!!














































Here's Josie and Thayne making a present cake!

NO PRETTY!

One of the best things about having girls is to do their hair. I have convinced Josie and Indi that doing their hair is a must and often tell them that it hurts to be beautiful (or pretty) to get them to stop whining and crying during the hair-do process. Of course, they want to be pretty because princesses are pretty so that usually quiets them down. Well, the story is not the same with Kai. When it's time to do her hair, she hides, yells "No" or just completely ignores me. Does she actually think that she will win this battle?? NEVER!!

Her new thing is to say, "I NO WANT TO BE PRETTY!". Even when I say that she can't be a princess if she's not pretty she simply responds, "Ok" and thinks that means her hair doesn't have to be done. This morning when I was doing all of their hair I called her in first but she yelled back, "Josie and Indi first, Momma!". Like that's going to give her enough time to either think of another excuse or find a really good hiding spot! Where does this 2 year old get this kind of attitude and how is she so dang smart? The smarts OBVIOUSLY come from me and the attitude must come from her Dad.

I told her one time that if she is not going to be a princess and get her hair done then she has to be witch with ugly hair. She instantly informed me that she wants to be a witch!

When I was editing these pictures, Kaia was standing right by me and she said, "Oh, momma, I so pretty!". As you can see, this is without her hair combed and the same hair-do she had yesterday!

First Day of School

Josie and Jaed started school today. Indiya doesn't start Kindergarten until Monday. Josie and Jaed were so excited last night that they had a very hard time getting to sleep. When Thayne and I finally pulled ourselves out of bed this morning, those two were dressed, wearing their backpacks, and watching T.V.. I told them to take off their backpacks so they could have breakfast and Jaed told me that he didn't need breakfast he just wanted to go to school. He's such a funny kid and always thinks he knows what is best for him. They both ended up having cereal and then bugged Thayne until he was ready to take them. I think I even heard Thayne tell Josie to quit bossing him around.

They got to ride the bus home and they were all smiles coming down from the bus. Jaed told me some names of friends he made and Josie said she made friends but couldn't remember any of their names (not unusual for her. She still calls some of her cousins different names because she can't remember!). They can't wait to go again tomorrow. They'll probably want to sleep in their school clothes tonight!

Now little Indi did not have such a great day. She was so sad to see her brother and sister go to school without her. She wouldn't smile all morning until I told her I would do anything she wanted for the next little bit. We played games, read books, colored and even cleaned :). She is so ready for school to start. I'm even a little sad for her that it's only half day, but it will give her something to look forward to next year. She is thrilled that she gets to ride the bus home with Jaed and Josie!

That grin doesn't show even a little bit of his excitement! He even asked Josie why she wasn't acting excited to go to school and we all thought she was. I guess she wasn't as excited as Jaed thought she should be!



























This is a different outfit she had on when Thayne and I woke up. I think she just grabbed the first outfit she could find. I had to override it and chose this one instead.



























Now Jaed's 'Mister Cool'! This is as close to his little sister as he wanted to get.
























Poor Indi...her life was falling apart. She was just in here watching me crop the pictures and said, "Momma when did you take that picture of me?". What a funny kid. In her mind, she was never that said looking.

Crafting here I come!!

So my craft room is organized and is ready for me every time I walk in it! I can hear my desk, my stamps and all my other fun stuff calling my name every time I get close to the room. I really could go in there, shut the door, and not come out all day. Making stuff with paper relaxes so much. I think i would be an even happier mom if I could have 5 hours a day to craft.....ok......5 hours is a lot but wouldn't that be HEAVEN!

I have decided to become a Close To My Heart Consultant (which means I sell stuff out of their GREAT catalog) so that I can hang out with other crafty women and make a little money to support my hobby! I plan to have at least 2 stamping clubs that meet once a month at house and each club will have 10 members. So if any of you want to come to my house (plane tickets are going down, you know) once a month to participate in my clubs just let me know!!!

So, anyway head on over to my craft blog by clicking on the link just to the left of this post called "My Inspiring Creations" and check it out! If you get a wild hair and want to support my crafting habit go to my consulting page: http://stamping.myctmh.com and order something or just check it out :)>.

Mom and Daughter Date

The town we live in is quite a hick town and once a year they have this HUGE Rodeo (along with a fair and a 3 HOUR parade!). Rodeo's remind me of my Dad. He was kinda a hick himself and would have loved to come to our house this weekend to go to the rodeo if he was alive. So, in his honor, Indiya and I went to the rodeo. It was no cheap date but it was worth it! We watch some horse bucking, calf tying, silly clowns, and team tying.

I know very little about rodeo's so the people around me were flooded with questions by me. Good thing they welcomed them and were even telling me things when I wasn't asking. Indi was enjoying herself as well as the popcorn, soda and chips. She never asked once if it was time to go. She got upset a couple of times when they were doing the calf rope tying. One calf was hurt pretty bad and a animal ambulance had to come out in the arena and take him away. After that, Indi was not a fan of that sport! She told me several times that she loves baby cows and that their moms were going to be mad if any of them get hurt. Then she looked around and asked, "Momma, where are the baby cow's mommas?". Like I know....but I pretended that I did and told her I was sure they were waiting around back for them to give them kisses. She smiled and relaxed a bit.

Playdates

As we have started to really settle in and gotten to know our neighbors, other than the cranky old ones, we have met a family two houses down that have two boys. Well, one couple has an 8 year old boy and then there is a mother and her 8 year old son that lives there with them. It's a bit non-traditional but they seem normal......I guess. Thayne took Jaed over there last weekend to meet the boys and their parents. The boys seem to get along well and Thayne said that the parents seemed ok, but we both are so paranoid that we don't know what to do from here. We told Jaed that he wasn't allowed to go in their house for a while and that if he wanted to play with the boys, they had to come to our house or ride their bikes. The boys have come to our house twice and have enjoyed themselves but now they are asking Jaed to come to their house. Thayne and I talked about it and decided that he could go over there for 30 minutes and then had to come home and check in. He leaves the house with his friends and both Thayne and I say a silent prayer that nothing will happen.

Before I had Jaed and worked with files of Juvenile sex offenders and learned all about their situations and how they were abused as children themselves. So much can happen in such a short period of time that you almost don't want your kids leaving your sight (or your home) for even a second. But, that obviously isn't possible so we prepare them and ourselves as much as possible. We are constantly talking to the kids about strangers and the other important stuff and hope and pray that nothing happens to them and if something does then we hope and pray that they will tell us right away. Unfortunately, pediphials come in all different types and you can't identify them by sight and behavior. This is when you rely on God to help you know if situations are safe for your children or not and follow any feelings you have. But it is so hard (at least for me!) to distinguish between paranoia and promptings sometimes.

Parenting is so hard and we make mistakes all the time but this is one situation I don't want to make a mistake in.!

First Haircut

It's amazing that Indi has NEVER had a haircut. She was born with such little amount of hair that we never even thought about cutting it. Well, the ends of her hair are quite ratty so I decided it was time for the big first cut! I didn't want to pay to have someone cut 3 inches off evenly across so I just decided to do it. She has curly hair so if I am not exactly even, no one can tell because it's curled!
Here's the before picture:





















Here's the after (the shiny stuff on her forehead and face is not sweat! It's water from my squirt bottle!)

Bikers

Thayne and I have been trying to teach the older three kids to ride a two wheeler and we have succeeded with 2 out of the 3. Jaed and Indi caught on very quickly and are riding everywhere. Josie is a bit more hesitant because she doesn't want to fall so we put her training wheels back on her bike and told her to tell us when she's ready to learn to ride without them. I check in with her a lot and ask her if she's ready to learn without the training wheels and she's not shy to say, "No, I'm not ready!". She is quite speedy on her bike with training wheels so there is no pressure to learn since she can keep up with her other two siblings. This is the main cause of tension between our old FART neighbors. One neighbor doesn't want them riding on the sidewalk because a car might back out and hit them and another neighbor doesn't want them to ride in the street because they might get hit by a car. Mind you, that that they are NEVER outside riding their bikes without Thayne or I (or both of us) out there with them making sure to get them out of the way if a car comes but obviously that isn't good enough for our crabby neighbors. They think our kids should not leave our yard even when riding their bikes.

Anyways....enough about the old folks....Kaia doesn't have a bike but she's off and running on her little scooter!




Thayne's parents got this bike for Josie but it's too big for her right now and Jaed out grew his bike so he's not apposed to riding it!























She's ready with her knee pads and elbow pads on!























We don't' think this bike was meant to be ridden without the training wheels because it has no brakes, but it doesn't stop Indiya!























Here's our Indiana Cheerleader riding her nifty scooter!

It's all about Kaia!

Kaia is next! What a sweet/stinker girl this one is! One minute she is the cutest most adorable little thing you have ever seen and the next minute she's the "devil's child" (that's what Thayne calls her when she's in one of those moods!). She is quite gifted verbally and bosses everyone around all of the time. She also isn't shy about telling you what she wants and when she wants it. The best time to spend with her is at night because she turns in to a cuddle machine and plasters her body to yours and gives tons of hugs and kisses. She doesn't give those things freely and only gives them to a select few when she's ready. I'm glad I happen to one of those chosen few (Thayne's one too. I think he's higher on the list than me!).

Kaia loves to pretend. She can make a family out of anything. I gave her a piece of paper and she rip it into two pieces and one piece was the mommy and one piece was the baby and the baby had poopy pants that the mom didn't want to change them. Sounds like she got that scenario from a real life experience! We got the Little People out of storage when we got here and she loves to play with them. She can play for a long time in her room if she's surrounded by those Little People!

Kaia is also the biggest teaser ever around. One of the worst things she has done is moved her high chair right in the middle of the kitchen, sat in it, and every time one of the kids came close to her she would reach out and pull their hair until they screamed. How does a two year old think of things like that? Of course, she's smiling the whole time. She even laughed one time! Scary!! She loves to grab the kids's toys and run with them and when they catch her and pin her down to get the toy she comes crying to me and says that she had it first. I think she likes to tease Josie the most because she gets the most reaction out of her. Josie is so upset when Kaia takes her toys that she can't catch Kaia right away because she's crying and screaming. I really try to act like the adult and discipline her but I always have to turn my head for a moment to wipe the grin off my face and compose myself.

Kaia is constantly talking and asking questions. She has great grammar and understands so much for toddler. We are so impressed with how advanced she is and laugh everyday over something she said or did. One of her favorite things to do is hold on to the dog's tail and follow him around where ever he goes. She doesn't try to direct him, she just holds and follows. He lets her do it and knows that he has to keep walking around until she gets bored. Our dog's name is Cooper but Kaia calls him "Coopy". She rolls all over him, lays on him and makes him take her dolls for a ride. He puts up with her and never refuses! They have a special relationship!
Kaia was our special blessing during law school. She was the highlight of that time in our lives. I think she will always have a special place in Thayne's heart as the "law school baby"!

It's all about Indiya!

It's Indiya's turn to be bragged about! What a little girl she is!! Thayne and I both agree that she is our best helper around! She loves to help with everything. I even have had her change Zoey's diaper and she did great! When I asked her to do it she jumped right at it and followed every step she has seen me do. When I've asked Josie to do it she complains and says, "This is icky" the whole time she's doing it and tries to change the diaper with her thumb and first finger only. The contrast is between these two girls is amazing!

Indi is a bit obsessive compulsive. She changes her obsessions often. Some obsessions she's had is washing her hands and making sure everyone else is washing theirs. Every time you come out of the bathroom she is right there to make sure you washed your hands. Jaed hates this! I think he purposely doesn't wash his hands because he gets quite a reaction out of Indi. He'll finally go wash his hands when she won't play anything with him and avoids everything he touches. She even goes on and on about how disgusting it is that he didn't wash his hands. Another obsession is germs. She was constantly asking if this or that had germs on it. You should have seen her face when I finally told her that germs are on everything. I thought she was going to die! I think that's where the hand washing obsession came in to play because i told her that if we wash our hands often then it kills the germs.

Indi is very compassionate and sensitive. She hates to see others hurting and is so willing to hug them and comfort them however she can. She loves to make friends and is not shy about asking someone to be her friend. If they say yes, she'll immediately hold their hand and lead them to where ever they're going to play. She's quite the social butterfly!

Indi is very obedient and wants to do what is right. She tries very hard to follow all the rules! It's nice to have a child that I don't constantly have to look after and watch. When her and Josie are fighting and I come into the room to be the referee, I'll immediately ask who is going to be like Jesus and Indi and Josie BOTH points at Indi.

Indi is truly a delight in our family! She keeps us moving and there is never a dull moment when she's around. She has a great sense of humor and laughing all the time!

Bad hair!

Can eight month olds have bad hair days? If so, I think this is a perfect example of one!

All about Josie!

Josie is my next child to brag about. Wow, where do I even start. Thayne often says that Josie could have been just fine being an only child. She loves to play by herself and is easily bugged by her siblings, but loves them even though the bug her sometimes....ok, most of the time. My mom said that Josie looks exactly like I did at her age and if you look at pictures of me at her age, you'd probably say the same thing.

Josie thrives on routine and does not do well with change. She likes everything in it's place and when it's out of place she becomes frustrated until it's back the way it is suppose to be. When she unloads the dishwasher she does it perfectly and in her own way. If you tell her to unload the bowls first you'll get an ear full about how that's not the order she does it in. She has certain rules that she does not break in the house but other rules she thinks are jokes. For example, she knows that she can not wear her school shoes on any other day but school days and if I'm in a hurry and want her to just throw them on she will fight be until she wins, saying "I CAN'T WEAR THOSE! IT'S NOT A SCHOOL DAY!". But, she's more then willing to break the rule about not touching my jewelry, she'll come out of my room with every necklace and bracelet on I own. How can you not chuckle at her (after I sternly tell her to get the jewelry back in my room, of course.).

When it comes to learning new things at school you can see that she really wants to learn them and is trying so hard. It's not an easy thing for her but after a lot of practice, the light bulb turns on and she's got it down. Her favorite subject in school is music. She loves to sing and be sung to. She tries really hard to sing with a vibrato in her voice which makes it a bit humorous. She loves to make up her own songs and sing them for you. The only problem with that is that the songs never end. I usually have to wait until she takes a huge breathe and then start clapping, saying "That was wonderful, Josie!" which is normally responds, "I'm not done, though." and keeps going.

She is truly a blessing in our lives and keeps us on our toes, constantly! Thayne and I often wonder what her husband will be like and how he'll handle her :)>.

All about Jaed!

It's been a while since I've talked about each of my kids individually so I thought I would start with Jaedon. He will be eight in three months!! I can't believe he is so old. Jaed will always be very special to Thayne and I because we tried so long to have a baby and after three long years of tears, heartache and frustration, we finally found out that Jaed was on his way! My mom said that his personality is just like mine, such as:

• Jaedon hates to be alone. He told me that he'd rather share a room with his sisters then have his own.
• He is determined and a bit bullheaded (I can't believe I was ever like that....wait...am I still?)
• He likes to be charge and lead the group
• He likes to to know the schedule and you better stick to it
• Jaedon is a pleaser. He doesn't like others to mad at him.
• He makes friends very easily
• He is very loyal to his family and friends

I felt like I was describing myself! That's probably why we hit heads a lot, but I make it a goal almost everyday to try and love these characteristics rather than fight them. He is a wonderful helper and loves to learn. He is constantly asking questions and often repeats the answers so that he really understands.
His best friend is his dad! He loves everything that Thayne loves and he can't wait until he can do everything Thayne does. Thayne always makes sure that he and Jaed have some "guy" time since they are both surrounded by emotional girls. Jaed really looks forward to this time with Thayne. Even though the girls cry and beg to be apart of it, Thayne stands his ground and tries to help them understand that he and Jaed needs this time together, just the two of them. I can tell that this makes Jaed feel very special!
Jaed is doing GREAT at school. He's like a sponge and just soaks up everything that is taught to him. His worst subject P.E.. He failed it in kindergarten and pretty much did the same in first grade. He's not into physical activity that is forced on him. If he chooses to do it then he'll do it for a long time but not if he's told to. Funny kid! I can't imagine having a problem with authority figures.....he must take after his dad in that area!

Big girl!

Zofiya turned 8 months old a couple of days ago. She is so dang cute!!! She is constantly smiling which just warms your heart every time you see her. Here's an update on some things she can do:

-Roll over
-Sit up

um....yeah that's about it! Once you put her down in a spot she'll sit there forever or fall over and lay there forever. She's not interested in crawling moving around..yet. She's very chunky so that could be the problem...hehehe..! She wears 24 month old clothes (same size as Kaia) and still has a muffin top when wearing pants. I pretty sure she's my chunkiest baby. Here's some photos of our chunky monkey:

Stitches AGAIN

I think we'll change Josie's name to Jo-Stitch! She fell on our back deck and ripped her knee up so I ran her to the hospital where they had to DIG a bunch of wood out of her knee and then give her 5 stitches. She was brave but wanted them to hurry up and be done.

During the LONG wait at the hospital she wanted me to tell her a story so I decided to recite "Goldilocks and the Three Bears". Well, you should know ahead of time that Thayne is the story teller in our family and likes to throw in his own made up parts in whatever story he tells to the kids. I'm the singer and sing exactly how the songs goes! Anyways, as I was telling the story and Goldilocks was heading up the stairs to try out the beds, Josie stopped me and said, "Momma, Daddy says that Goldilocks stops at the bathroom, poops in the toilet, doesn't wipe her butt, doesn't flush the toilet and doesn't wash her hands before she goes and lays down". My eyes are rolling and I'm trying not to laugh hysterically. Of course, everything that Thayne added into the story is everything our kids do in the bathroom. I told Josie that Daddy tells his version of the story and I tell mine and then I started to continue with MY version, but Josie wasn't having it. She tells me that Daddy tells the story how it really goes not me. I seriously couldn't hold it back, I just started laughing so hard I was crying. I can just see her stopping a future teacher that tries to tell this story and explain the REAL version.

I gave up on telling stories because I was afraid to see what other stories Thayne ruined and want to plead ignorance if the added parts come up in the near future at school!

One of those days...

Today is one of those days that you wonder "What the hell am I doing!" (excuse the language). I don't want to be called "Mommy", I don't want to clean, I don't want to make any decisions, don't want to be a referee, disciplinarian, or a negotiator. I want to run away, read a book all day and think of nothing else but myself. But, unfortunately, that can't happen so I guess I'll get my act together and act like a responsible mom (but I don't have to like it!). How come cloud nine can't last more than a day?

Jaed woke up teasing his sisters from the time he got out of bed. Josie woke up deciding that she didn't want to play nice with anyone and if anyone got near her they were going to get a shove and yelled at to stay away. Indiya woke up with a whine...I think I even heard her whine in her sleep last night when I checked on them. She has that whine that just rakes your nerves. I don't think I've heard her real voice yet, today. Kaia woke up deciding she was going to cry about everything, be miserable and make sure everyone else was too. I think the only sunshine of the day is my little Zofiya. When I look at her I think, "Oh alright, I'll stick around and hope the day gets better!". Her siblings should be thanking her because if it wasn't for her I think I'd lock myself in my room and not answer if they came pounding on the door. How can I have such bad stinkers all at once? It's as if they feed off each other....ahhhhh......take me away CALGON!!!

Whirl wind

The last couple of days have been a whirl wind. We have painted, organized, shopped, and spent time as a family which has been great! We played soccer with Indi and Jaed in our fenced backyard while Josie and Kaia dug in the dirt. Zoey loves to be outside! We put a blanket on our deck and sit her on it so she can see us all and she is thrilled. We love the weather here. It’s windy most of the time but still warm so the breeze is welcomed. Since we live on the east side of Washington we don’t get tons of rain which is nice as well.

Since Thayne has put us on a budget (budgets suck!) we only have a certain amount of money to spend on food a month so I made a menu for a whole month and then made a grocery list from the menu. We have to travel 30 minutes to get to the closest Costco and Walmart so we plan on doing that only once a month and do our major grocery shopping then. It’s nice to not have to wonder or stress about what’s for dinner every day Like I use to do. I can just look at my menu, decide what I want to cook that day, mark it off my menu and I know I have all the stuff in the house to make it!! One less thing to stress about now!

We met our neighbors across the street. Wow, I never knew there were real neighbors like the nosy ones on the T.V. show “Bewitched”. If you don’t know or remember that show…….I feel old! Our neighbors across the street are a retired couple and the woman spends most of her time peering out her window to spy on everyone while her husband sits in his recliner and watches sports. I’m sure our family will be a real scene of entertainment for her. She has already come over to tell us about the leash law because the day we arrived we let our dog out of the car and he started running everywhere to check out the surroundings. Every time I go outside I make sure to wave towards her house just in case she’s hiding behind the curtain. Maybe I’ll feel dangerously adventurous and moon her one time …hehehe…..ok, I probably won’t but it made me laugh to think about it!

Settled!!

Most of you know that Thayne got a job in Washington and he came early to start work while the kids and I stayed behind for about 5 weeks because the house we got wasn't quite ready. Well the kids and I drove to Washington yesterday and we are together as a family again, and on our own!

I love Washington!! It's beautiful, the weather is mild, trees everywhere and the camping, hiking and water activities are endless!! We live in a small college town which is great! The firm Thayne works for is small but he is getting tons of experience. He has already been to court on his own and he won his first motion! His boss is a bit different but Thayne said he'll deal with it since he is getting so much experience and learning so many things.

Our house is four bedrooms and has a huge family room that we are turning into a playroom. Less toy clutter in the kids room and it's a place they can all spread out and play but be in the same room. I have my OWN craft room which I am most excited about. I may have to give it up when the kids get older but for right now it's ALL mine!!

The kids love the back yard which is completely fenced in and has a nice be deck they can play on as well. We're planning on getting a swing set soon so that will keep them busy and active. It's nice to let them out of the back door and know that they will be safe in the backyard.

If you can't tell, I'm feeling like I'm on cloud nine! I have an awesome husband who works so that I can stay home and raise our kids, I have five wonderful children who challenge me to be a better Mom everyday (I don't always succeed, though), I have a nice home that is a blank palette for me decorate and organize myself (which I love to d0), and did I mention that I have a GREAT husband?!!!

The next month will be bit crazy as I organize my home, get the kids and myself on a routine and get settled in the community but I'm ready for it. I plan on blogging frequently again so keep checking back!!!

Past Away

I found out, today, that my Dad passed away. His girlfriend couldn't get a hold of him and called my sister in a panic. My sister had the sheriff go over to his house and there he found my dad in his recliner, covered up in a blanket, no longer alive. My dad had diabetes and we knew that he probably wouldn't be around for very much longer but we all thought that he would get sick, go into the hospital, and we would all be around his bed when he passed on. I never thought that he would be alone when died. It's just so sad! I had so much I wanted to say to him....especially to tell him that I loved him. Most of you know that he and I didn't get along all the time but he was my father and I loved him. He loved my children so much! He use to call Indi his girlfriend. She always wanted to sit by him and hug him when he was around. She always brought out the tender side of my Dad.

My heart is so full and my mind is swimming in memories but I just don't have the words to express it all. I know that he is in a better place and he is with his mom who passed away when he was 13 years old, but it doesn't seem enough to comfort the pain.

I thought my heart was going to break when I saw the expression on my childrens face after we told them that Grandpa had passed away. Indi said, "Jesus will turn him back to life, right Mom?" and Josie said, "Why did he have to die, Mom?". Jaed just curled up on our laps and cried. I tried to tell them that Grandpa wouldn't want us to be sad, that he would want us to be happy for him that he's with his Mom and doing great but how can you make them believe that when you're crying the whole time while trying to explain that.

I'm so exhausted!

My DAD! Can I take back every negative thing I said about him?