I found out, today, that my Dad passed away. His girlfriend couldn't get a hold of him and called my sister in a panic. My sister had the sheriff go over to his house and there he found my dad in his recliner, covered up in a blanket, no longer alive. My dad had diabetes and we knew that he probably wouldn't be around for very much longer but we all thought that he would get sick, go into the hospital, and we would all be around his bed when he passed on. I never thought that he would be alone when died. It's just so sad! I had so much I wanted to say to him....especially to tell him that I loved him. Most of you know that he and I didn't get along all the time but he was my father and I loved him. He loved my children so much! He use to call Indi his girlfriend. She always wanted to sit by him and hug him when he was around. She always brought out the tender side of my Dad.My heart is so full and my mind is swimming in memories but I just don't have the words to express it all. I know that he is in a better place and he is with his mom who passed away when he was 13 years old, but it doesn't seem enough to comfort the pain.
I thought my heart was going to break when I saw the expression on my childrens face after we told them that Grandpa had passed away. Indi said, "Jesus will turn him back to life, right Mom?" and Josie said, "Why did he have to die, Mom?". Jaed just curled up on our laps and cried. I tried to tell them that Grandpa wouldn't want us to be sad, that he would want us to be happy for him that he's with his Mom and doing great but how can you make them believe that when you're crying the whole time while trying to explain that.
I'm so exhausted!
My DAD! Can I take back every negative thing I said about him?
