A mother's concern

Thayne took Jaed to school this morning and upon their arrival Jaed's teacher handed Thayne a newspaper. On the front page of that section there was a big picture of Jaed with is FULL NAME printed below it. They were doing a story on the new preschool that Jaed is attending and decided to take pictures of some of the children. I was shocked that they would not only put his picture in the newspaper but then follow it up with his full name. I had a little war in my head about what I should do and if I was just being paranoid but finally decided that this was not okay with me. I have worked with victims of perpatrators (before I was mom) so it scares me to even think that my child was put in a situation that he could be a possible victim. A perpatrator could be reading the paper, see him and know his name instantly. This gives perpatrators such an advantage when it comes to taking their victim. It scared me so bad and it also angered me. I had decided along time ago that I would never give permission for my child's picture or name to be printed in a public document or newspaper. And now it was being done and their was nothing I could do about it, except make sure it didn't happen again.

I called the Director of the preschool who had every excuse in the book and when I wouldn't accept any of them she finally agreed that my son's name should not have been printed. I didn't feel like I got enough accomplished by talking to her so I made a phone call to the Superintendent. He was not in, of course, but his administrative assistant took my call. She seemed to be as concerned as I was and was even shocked that anyone within the school system would give permission for this to happen without a parent's signature. She told me that she would make some phone calls to find out how this would happen and I asked her to call me and let me know what will be done about it. When I got off the phone, I felt like I had talked to a parent who was as concerned as I was. Within about three hours she had called me back and said that it truly was a mistake on their part and that the newspaper should not have gotten permission to print his name. She did tell me that on the enrollment form there was a "small" paragraph saying that if you sign the enrollment form you are giving permission for a picture of your child to be used in advertisement or publications for the school, but it did not give permission for names. She apologized and said that a letter would go out to all the parents apologizing and a new form would be sent out asking for permission for a child's picture AND name to be used in any publication about the school. I was satisfied with what had been done but still upset that my son was put in this dangerous situation.

When I picked Jaed up for school this morning, I grabbed the papers out of his box, and there it was. The letter apologizing that names were used in the article, and a new form to be filled out by every parent giving (or not giving) permission to use a picture and name of their child in publications about the school. I filled it out right there and put a HUGE 'X' where it said "NO". Now I know that I will have to make sure that I ask, everytime I sign one of my children up for school, if there is a form like this and make sure it's marked "No".

I did think the picture was pretty darling! I'll make sure that his grandparents are sent a copy. Jaed thinks it's pretty neat that he was in the newspaper. We will be sitting down with him tonight and talking to him about strangers that know his name and what he should do. I'm sure that we will be coming up with a password so that if someone tries to persuade him to come with them, they better know the password or he'll scream and run the other way. This concept will be hard for Jaed because he thinks everyone in the world is his friend, young or old. To give you an example: We went to the children's museum (in town) this summer and there are volunteers that walk around and show the kids how to do work certain things. Well, Jaed attached himself to this old lady (probably about 70 yrs old) and brought her over to me and said, "Mom, this is my new best friend. She's playing all the fun toys with me.". The lady just smiled and patted Jaed on the head. We had even had the talk about "strangers" and "strangers" are not friends, before this happened. These are talks we will constantly be having with Jaed, I think.