Dear So and So....

Dear Old Lady in the hospital room next to mine:

I'm sorry that no one came to your room every time you yelled out that you needed help, but asking them to put you in a hotel room instead of a hospital room probably didn't win you any points. I'm so grateful that the narcotics I was on, knocked me out because I don't know if I could have slept with your constant yelling.

Sincerely,

The Lady in the room next to you who ate too many cherries.

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Dear Treadmill:

The constant stares have got to stop. I know you are there and I know you are needing to be used but I don't appreciate the nagging feeling you give me. I'm going to make it a goal to give you some exercise this next week so I hope this means you'll leave me alone!

Sincerely,

The Mom who has great goals but sucks at accomplishing them

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Dear Jaed:

When I ask you to clean the front room do you think you could avoid stuffing things under and behind the couch? When the couch can't rest on the floor because there is so much crap underneath it, we have a problem. Or when we sit down on the couch and hear a huge "CRUNCH" because a toy was smashed. I'm sure I never did that as a child and can't imagine where you inherited such a behavior (said with extreme sarcasim) but it needs to stop, please!

Sincerely,

Your Mom