Bullies

Jaedon has finished his first real week of Kindergarten and seems to really love it. He has made lots of friends but talks about two particular boys in his class. Last night, we were talking about his school and we asked him if he plays with these two boys at recess. He told us that one of them tries to push him down and kick him. I was so sad and mad at the same time. Thayne asked him what he does when they do that and he said he doesn't do anything. Now this time last year, we would have been told that Jaed was hitting another child but something has changed in him. A part of me almost wants him to be that same Jaed that fights back, but I know that's not the appropriate response to teach him. We told him to tell the boy to not push or kick him but who knows if that will get him anywhere. I did decided that if it happens again I will be sending a note to his teacher explaining what Jaed has told us and let her know that we are concerned.
It's amazing to me that a child can survive school with any kind of self esteem at all. I want to shelter my children from this kind of hatefulness but I can't. They have to go through and survive on top of the hill but have to do it without being hateful themselves. I don't even know how to teach them that without making a wimp out of them. Man, sometimes parenthood is harder than I want it to be.
The sad thing about this is that it doesn't just stop when they're kids. Even as adults you run into bullies and cliques. As my son deals with a bully, I"m dealing with cliques. I never thought that at my age I would have to deal with the feelings of "not fitting in" or not being "picked" to join a group of friends going somewhere. It hurts my heart to think that these feelings and actions are not out grown, and that my kids will have to deal with them when they're grown as well. Fortunately for Jaed, I think the female gender is ten times worse when it comes to cliques. My poor daughters.....I see a lot of tears in my future (theirs and mine!).
I hope that as I continue to mature (it's a long process for me) that I can always remember how I felt when I was left out and not invited to things so that I don't do that to others. It's mean, uncalled for and ruthless. The saying "why can't we all get along" isn't so funny right now. Where is the Christ-like attitude we should all be striving for? I know I need to find it at times!