Throwing a party...

I absolutely hate throwing parties. I've thrown so many parties where only one person (or even none) show up and I"m completely embarrassed forever afterwards. Some how I seem to jinx any party I throw. I had a small birthday party for Indi and another friend who's child was turning and one person showed up, but my mom was in town so we just called it family party with friends to make me feel better. Now Jaed's birthday is right around the corner and I struggled with whether or not to throw him a party. Finally, I decided to go for it and I made really cute invitations and handed them out to all the boys in his class and a couple of good friends from church. The party is in three days and only two boys have RSVP'd. AHHHHHH!! I should be happy that at least two RSVP'd right? At least that's more than one. Well, Jaed will have fun with two or twenty friends....he doesn't care, so neither should I. I have no idea why it stresses me out so much. I guess I hate to feel "lame" and I do when the party is a flop. Maybe that's why I want several kids...then if no one shows up to a birthday party at least it's still populated with kids (all siblings) :). Maybe I"m getting crazy over nothing. I"m the worst about RSVP'ing and often times just don't do it but I still show up, so maybe there are other moms like me. My sister is coming into town tomorrow so she'll be here to make the party fun no matter who shows up. We'll be just fine....I'll keep telling myself that.
I have a friend who really wants me to throw a make-up party and I've been avoiding the topic with her for months cuz I'm scared to throw it and have NO ONE show up. That just seems so humiliating to me. I know she's gonna ask me again, and I'll probably cave in and have one but I"ll be praying the whole time that people show up. I know, it's ridiculous....but we're all allowed to have ridiculous fears, right? I have "get togethers" or scrapbook nights and am not even worried if my friends show up to those, so what is the difference between those and parties? Who knows. In my funny mind, there's a different. So maybe I should start thinking of parites as "get togethers" instead? Although, I"m horrible at trying to fool myself. It never works. I'll probably fear parties for the rest of my life, but I'll keep attempting them hoping that each one will be a HUGE success. Wish me luck!